|
|
Do You Put Yourself First? Adapted from the article, "You Come First, Others Come 2nd, Results Come 3rd. Circumstances Don't Even Rank." By Thomas Leonard Looking for an easier life surrounded by people who love you and be awash in rewarding successes? Well who isn't? The purpose of the article is singular. That is to ask you to put yourself, others, and results, in an order which brings out the best in everyone without grinding effort extraordinary results might usually require. You, others, results. Are you willing to be selfish?  There are many wonderful people who try too hard to produce too much without enough of their own needs being met. America has always been a production, results-oriented society, even Darwinian in attitude (if not by design). To that end, the notions of working hard past the point of suffering and the no pain/no gain and second best is last admonishments have become formulas for success rather than sideline cheers of encouragement. And while individuality is a cornerstone of our democracy and free enterprise system, no one bothered to remind us that getting more didn't mean having enough. How about putting yourself first, not your family or friends, your company or career, your possessions or accomplishments? Just you. Simple, human, fragile you. Who is you? Your needs, your heart, your health, your intellect, your gifts, your talents, your love, your willingness, your passions, your pleasure. Oh. And how does one do this exactly? Better to ask, "How am I not putting my-self first?" Take a quiz to see how well you do at putting yourself first. Self-ish isn't Selfish Are you hesitant to put yourself first because this might seem that you don't care for others or you are not a great parent or you suck everyone dry or you put others second? If you are concerned how this looks or what it says about you, it's important then for you to understand the distinction between self-ish and selfish. Selfish is what we call someone who doesn't think of another's needs or concerns, just about one's own. This kind of selfishness is considered an example of immaturity, a me-me-me-me-ness. One who is selfish needs attention, complains, whines if they don't get it, and really doesn't have the time, space or inclination to bother with others' concerns. For them life is about being selfish. And yes, this is generally a busy, but unfulfilling life. A better word for selfish is egoish - the person panders to his/her ego. Now self-ish. Most coaches hold the view that one's self is one's higher self - the source of life, happiness, natural growth and contribution. The kind of care that this self requires takes on the nature of an investment. Our selves need certain things and conditions to stay viable. And when our selves are viable, the self contributes. So, what kind of care does our self need? The Care of Self
All About Others Who, exactly is others? Is it everyone? Is it my friends or family? Is it the world? Is it who comes into my life? At recent count, you've got 6 billion choices to make, so here are some labels to help you establish exactly who you are putting second (and who isn't even under consideration). You will change these groupings and the people within these groupings over time. These are in no order:
|
|
